Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
