Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
