And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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