matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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