I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
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