I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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