We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
