the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
