You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Randomize
