did you get engaged???
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
