btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
