I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
