Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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