Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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