I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I have post one night stand depression
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