I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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