I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
