They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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