mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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