Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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