Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
