dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
that is very illegal...i love you.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
