I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
