i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
