Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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