Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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