Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
