I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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