do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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