I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
