Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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