Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
