Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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