How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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