i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize