she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
