Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize