Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
