i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
