Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
