I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
