Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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