I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You pole danced in your parka.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
