You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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