Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize