I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
