This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
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