i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
