paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
They have beer where we have blood.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
