I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
