He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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