I just cut my nipple shaving
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
