Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
