Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
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