rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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