so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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