i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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