FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
