I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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