Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
