if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize