Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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