i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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