hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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